....And other duties as assigned....

Ladies and Gentlemen....I am back!  By popular demand The one fan I have has requested that I start blogging again.  (Hi mom!) So here I am.

I realize I haven't blogged in a looooooong time.  I could try to catch you up on the awesomeness  boring every day-ness that is my life but I fear I might lose you.  So, if you care enough want to humor me, feel free to look through my Facebook posts and you will get a pretty good glimpse of what I am up to.  Yep! I am lazy. 

Have you ever applied for a job, or looked at your own job description and seen the phrase "Other duties as assigned?"  Right??!  What does that even mean?  It would be more accurate to write, "You will be doing things you never dreamed you would do. In fact, most of these things we can't even write on this job description because if we do no one will take this job. Also, most of these things are things that will catch you by surprise and might cause you to roll your eyes be grateful you have a job."

So without further ado...my list of pastor's wives "Other duties as assigned..."

*Reminding Telling your husband about church members' big moments. Birthdays, surgeries, babies being born, etc.  

*Being the one to stay home with sick kids on Sundays.  Unless your husband want to use a vacation Sunday to be home with a puking baby, it will be your turn to stay home with the sick child. Every.Time. 

*Helping with special events at church. After all, you will be at the church anyway, it shouldn't be a big deal to help out with the event right?!  Wrong.  I mean...yes, sign me up!

*Listening Overhearing people in the church talk negatively about your husband and or other staff members while keeping your cool and not punching them in the face praying for those people.  Also, you will be required to act natural if anyone asks if you have heard anything about said gossip.  

*DVR-ing TV shows for other staff members who don't have cable.   It's a ministry people, ok??! 

*Be super duper luper excited to see someone from the church at Walmart, Thai Express, Chapala or Costco.  Especially if you are having a bad day.  Even more especially if you are praying your card is approved at the register.  One week until payday. 

*Being a guest speaker at your local University, especially if you are scared to death of speaking in front of people.  Also, when you get there the professor will probably let you know he will be recording the session to post online.  Awesome.  Do I get paid extra anything for that??!

And yet somehow I keep doing it, loving it and being blessed by it all!!!

Must be a God thing.

Truth be told...

* Sometimes when I see people I know at Walmart I re-direct my path so that I don't pass them in the isle. Truth be told, sometimes I just want to shop and not have to put on a smile for you.


*Sometimes I purposely use the restroom at the far end of the church. Truth be told, I don't always enjoy the hand washing conversation that goes on in women’s restrooms.


*I check my Facebook during the sermon every Sunday. Truth be told, so do you!


*When I am chasing my kids in all different directions and look like I got hit by a bus because I am exhausted, it is not the best time to laugh and say "I promise you will miss this one day." Truth be told, I will not miss certain things about my children being little. I just won't. Sure, there are many things I will miss, but trying to convince them not to lick the floor of a public restroom is NOT one them.


*If you tell me you recently read “the best book ever” about ministry and that I really should read it because it will change my life. I probably won’t read it.  Truth be told, changing my life sounds like a lot of work. I don’t think I have the energy for that right now.


*When the worship leader says “please stand” in church. I don’t always stand. Truth be told, I don’t think I have to stand to Praise God and maybe I don’t feel like standing.  I’m sure, there is a special place reserved in the music pastor’s frustrated heart for people like me. I’m sorry. I owe you a mountain dew.


*Sometimes I get cash back from a grocery shopping trip. Truth be told, there are times I want some cash that I don't have to be held accountable for. I don't want evidence of the coffee I buy every morning on my bank statement. That's what married people call "ammunition" for when the bank account overdrafts.  Forget it. Not my fault. You have no proof that I spent $15 on coffee last week. Bingo-Bango!


*If you invite me to your jewelry/Tupperware/make-up/cute personalized bag/vinyl wall décor/pampered chef/scentsy/best chocolate ever made/try on jeans in my living room party I probably won’t come. I am sure that your product is awesome and is something I will never regret buying. Truth be told, I don’t have money for stuff like that.  If I happen to have some extra money this month, I will probably spend it on laser hair removal...Let’s be honest, that’s what a busy mom really wants.


Love,
Joye

Cosmetics

Don't worry, I haven't started selling Mary Kay or Avon, so feel free to keep reading.  This is not a high pressure sales pitch. Or, a sales pitch at all.

My husband has been included in a fair amount of criticism lately.  He has always been one on our church staff to push the envelope a bit and to ask the tough questions.  As of the last couple months along with the critism he has also been given a piece of the "blame" pie as well. Oh.fun. 

The funny annoying thing is, most of the changes that have been getting push back  are purely cosmetic.  And by cosmetic, I mean actually cosmetic. As in changes in the way something in the church building looks.  It is not as if there has been a move toward changing the mission of the church or the name of the church or the fact that we worship a great and mighty God.  We are talking about visual changes in a church building.  A…..building.

I guess I must be a little to protective of him. I get nauseated and sweaty and irritated and want to slap someone (in Jesus’s name of course) when I see the weight he carries for some of these things.  My husband is just the opposite, he doesn't see it as a weight to bear; he sees it as an opportunity to love people through their differences.  Huh?! Oh man...he is totally a pastor. I am totally not. A couple of nights ago I asked him how he deals with the criticism that comes across his desk.  You know what he said?  Unbelievable.  He said to me, “I would rather take the criticism for change than to be part of a church that is not moving at all.”  Whew….the Joye translation, "I would rather be making waves with my movement than drowning in a still pond.”   So, I guess it is in my best interest to put my boxing gloves away and realize that criticism in ministry is nothing new. In Jesus’ ministry He was criticized for nearly everything he did, so much so that he was criticized to His death.  Talk about making waves.  If we truly are called to follow in Jesus’ footsteps I guess I should expect the criticism.  Maybe that means he is doing something right….maybe.

Keep your fingers crossed in the next couple of weeks...my husband bought new glasses.  They are going to change his "look."  I am concerned about the riots that might ensue regarding his cosmetic change, it could get ugly.

Life with boys

Oh...blue crayon...you seem so innocent and fun when I buy you in a variety pack of other colors for .98 cents. You keep my children entertained while I sneak off to use the restroom.
Not the case when a little piece of you is in my child's pocket and gets washed and then DRIED!...ya so..my dryer has a tint of blue in the barell and all our whites have a tinge of blue.

Oh...super glue...you are so useful and awesome when something breaks or needs to be stuck together for the rest of time and eternity.
Not the case when my son is trying to glue a quarter to a lego to make the best cannon ever, and he drops the quarter. Super glue down. On the hardwood.

Oh...little boy who has been potty trained...it is so awesome to not have to buy diapers anymore nor carry a diaper bag with us everywhere we go.
Not the case when you get up in the middle of the night to go potty and pee all over the seat and then I go potty and sit on the wet seat causing me to have to take a midnight shower.  Also, when you have an accident in my bed and I have the choice of sleeping next to a wet bed or getting up in the middle of the night and changing the sheets.

Oh Flour canister...I am a huge fan of you to keep my flour dry and fresh and wieble free. You make it easy to measure flour and look nice in my pantry.
Not so much when my 1 year old can reach the canister and apparently wishes he was just a little whiter. What.a.mess.

Oh kitchen...You are a place that provides food, a place for people to gather, a place to read the newspaper and drink coffee, a place to cut coupons, a place to blog. Oh how I enjoy your smell after baking cookies.
Not the case when I turn my back for a moment and feel the familiar sting of a freaking Nerf Gun dart. Dude, I am not armed...not.fair.

Oh legos...you have a been a childhood favorite for so many years. You provide hours and hours of fun and creativity to little boys (and girls) on a daily basis.  You have morphed into so many different types and shapes and have proven to be a favorite of children everywhere.
Not the case when I step on one of you in my bare feet.  Seriously, when I asked you to pick up your legos I meant ALL of your legos, not just the red ones.

Oh Chicken nuggets...thank you for the many last minute meals you have given kids all over the world.  you come in all white meat, all parts of the chicken grey meat, shaped like a dinosaur, shaped like mickey mouse, shaped like a star, shaped like a golden nugget. You are the one and only food sick children will eat when they haven't eaten in 3 days. Oh how we love you.
Not the case when I find a half eaten one of you in between the couch cushions.  Did you realize you don't age well? You turn to a rock solid piece of nastiness that could double as a paperweight.

To be continued....

San Frantastico!!!

Check me out. I did it! I actually did it.  I drove 1300 miles in a mini-van caravan of 20 teenagers. Boo-ya! I know right?! Impressive.  I am sure you have all been waiting with baited breath for my San Francisco mission trip report. Lucky for you, my husband took both the boys to church tonight so I happen to have a moment or two to do just that.

It's so funny to me, (not HA HA funny but more like..man I am an idiot funny)  no matter how much I worry, fret, stew, loose sleep, cry, pray and waste time thinking about how bad something that God has called me to do is going to be, it never is.  I kind of think God has it easy with me. I mean, when I worry I don't weak sauce worry, I do it right! I worry that the worst case scenario will happen. You know, I will run out of gas in the middle of the desert with no cell service in 109 degree heat with no water and no food and the road will have closed so no one will be coming by for the next two days and I will die alone in a mini-van on my way to San Francisco with 5 teenagers.  Hmph!  Ya, Ya...I know, I have a small rather large and unrealistic worry problem.  The good news is, it gives God a lot of space to prove my worries illegitimate right? Well, that He sure did.

I am truly amazed at how close God was to me on this trip.  All my worries were non-issues.  Of course there were the issues I hadn't even thought of before I left, but whatever. Most of those ended up being fairly painless as well.  My biggest fear was leaving my boys. Ends up, they had a fabulous time while we were gone. They were loved on, hugged on, spoiled and well taken care of! I am telling you, being in ministry is simply not possibly without the support of family and friends who are willing to love your kids. Can I get an Amen?! 

We spent a lot of time NOT sleeping on this trip.  Each day we got up at 5:45 am and didn't get to bed until after 11:00pm.  We spent time serving at food banks, sorting clothes, delivering food to AIDS patients, getting to know some of the homeless in the city and playing with children whose home lives are rough.  We talked about the difference between being HOUSEless and HOMEless.  We talked about how the single biggest key to success in a child's life is where they live (or don't live).  We talked about how people are people and moms are moms wherever you go.  We talked about how everyone, regardless of their situation has a longing for love.  We talked about how there are millions of people who give their time every day to be Jesus to people who desperately need Him. Most importantly, we talked about how WE CAN be Jesus to people in our own little worlds.  

I'm sure  I hope to get around to telling you the millions of individual stories of God's amazing Grace that were so evident last week in San Francisco.  For now, I will simply and confidently say...God is alive, active and working in the city of San Francisco! What an honor it was to be a tiny part of the Ministry that He has in a city that desperately needs the love of Jesus!  San Francisco will forever have a place in my heart, and as my favorite city host Ryan says..I love San Frantastico!!! 

Mission Trip Swan Song

Well, here we are.  The day before we leave on the teen mission trip. Guess what?! yours truly is going as an "adult" sponsor.  I guess I am technically an adult but it sure does makes me sound old and boring.   Maybe I am old and boring, it's hard to tell these days.

I dug out my trusty "mission trip" backpack that I purchased at REI 10 years ago for all the mission trips I would be going on with our ministry.  I used that thing a lot, until 6 years ago.  The last mission trip I went on was with students to Taipei, Taiwan.  The trip of a lifetime. I will never forget it.  Apparently I did forget something though...to clean out my backpack after the trip.  So, today I found the backpack and began cleaning it out.  Nbd, just so old kleenexes, a box of playing cards, some hand sanitizer, some packs of powdered propel (that expired in 2007),  and several gum wrappers.  As I cleaned it out, several memories came back to me.  Man, I have had a lot of great times on mission trips with students.  From Mexico to Taiwan and everywhere in between.

Can I just be honest?  I am nervous.  I am nervous to be around students again 24/7 for a week. I am nervous I am going to have a mental breakdown after only the 2nd round of 99 bottles of (root)beer on the wall. I am nervous that 12 hours in the van is going to do this "adult" in.  I am nervous to leave my boys for a week.  They are going to be left with the most amazing sister-in-law who loves them like her own and I know they will be spoiled, but I will miss them terribly.  I am nervous that one of them will skin their knee or miss their mamma and I won't be there to comfort them. I am feel like a bad mom for leaving them for so long.  Hmph! Remember when I told you have I have a real anxiety issue?

So,  you might be asking yourself, why in the world is this crazy woman going if she is so nervous about it all?! I am going because I know I need to.  It's time for me to get out of my Subaru driving, col-de-sac living world and do something for someone else.  It's time for me to once again give my time and energy to something other than my own little world.  And so, here I go.  This trip is a special one for my husband and I. It is the last trip we will be going on with students where we aren't expected to go.  My husband's role has changed at our church recently and he is no longer the "youth pastor".
While I am nervous about so many aspects of this trip I am honored and humbled to be part of this team.  This trip is a "swan song" of sorts for us. It's hard to believe this time of our lives has come to an end.  While we will still be at the same church, my husband will no longer be responsible for the mission trips.  If either of us wants to be an "adult" sponsor again we will technically need to be asked. Although, I bet we could pull a few strings :)  It is a strange feeling on the day before we leave on possibly our last mission trip with students in a long time.  This is the final song of our album titled "mission trips".  I am hoping there is a hidden track somewhere that might allow us to be a part of a journey like this again.

My Testimony

Believe it or not I am going on the youth mission trip this summer. Yikes! One of the requirements for participation is that we write our testimony. Apparently sleeping with the youth pastor being an adult sponsor does not exempt one from this requirement. I have written my testimony before for mission trips so I thought it would be easy. I was wrong. None the less here it is....My Testimony:

As I began reflecting on my testimony and how I would ever convey my spiritual journey in less than 30 pages I began reading the testimony I wrote 6 years ago before the Taiwan mission trip. As I read what God was showing me 6 years ago, I was in awe of how His story of love was still being written in my life.  In fact, I can see so clearly how God had been preparing my heart THEN for what He is doing in my heart NOW.

I was blessed to have been raised in a loving Christian home where my story with Christ began.  My family was very active in our church and I was surrounded by the love of Christian mentors growing up. I had heard all my life that God had a plan for me but it was never a reality to me until the summer before my sophomore year of high school. That summer I was involved in a serious car accident. I remember being in the Emergency room when the doctor told my family and I that there must have been “someone” watching over me, because I should have never survived the accident. From that time on, I felt strongly that the Lord had a plan for my life, because after all if He didn’t He could have just taken me then.

 I got through the drama of my high school years and began school at NNC. (Yes, I am that old).  My only two rules for finding a husband were that he must never have worked at McDonald’s and he can’t be a ministry major.  Life lesson #45, “Never say ‘Never’ to God.”  Lesson learned. Two months after arriving on campus I met Johnny. In our first conversation I revealed to him my two qualifications for a husband. So, he kept those two “little” things about himself a secret for several months as we dated and he attempted to be the “exception”.  It worked. In 2000, I made Johnny a happy man and said, “I do”. I slowly began to get involved with the youth group at college church and God began to create a love for students in my heart that I never could have imagined. God shaped my heart in a way I never thought was possible; it was all part of his master plan.

I continued to believe Gods plan was being fulfilled in my life, until 2005. After TWO, count them TWO resident years at College Church I was as far away from God as I had ever been. I remember reminding God over and over again that He had promised He had a plan for us. Because, you know...sometimes He needs reminders, right?  I told Johnny that I didn’t believe God has a plan for our lives.  We hadn’t felt led to a church after several interviews and I was beginning to think maybe God was going to grant my wish to never be in ministry. But as you know...that is the not the end of the story. In fact, Gods plan for our life was bigger than our wildest dreams. The events that have led us to stay at College church are not coincidental. Here we are…12 years later, still at College Church. Talk about a plan bigger than our wildest dreams. 

Today, I stand before you as a wife, a mommy, a professional, a pastor’s wife, a friend, and a daughter of the King.  Becoming a parent has been a challenge for me.  I have found myself in unknown territory and am constantly trying to figure out how to direct my children to the feet of Jesus when I myself am not always there.  The last 4 years have proven to be difficult for me. I have come to realize just how broken I am.  I have been forced to survey what is really important in life and to cling to those things with all my soul. There are days I go to bed and can see so clearly the plan God is still unfolding in our lives.  And then there are days I go to bed and wonder what in the world we were ever thinking being in ministry. We have experienced some major changes in our life and ministry in recent months, but God has been so faithful while I asked questions and prayed we were doing the right things.  I have been reminded of the faithfulness of God to place people in my life that I need at just the right time. I have been blessed with an amazing family and one-of-a-kind friends. I am so thankful for a husband who loves me no matter what. 

I am excited to be going to San Francisco this summer.  It would not be possible without the help of some amazing family members who will be watching my boys – thank you!.  It has been 5 years since I have been on a mission trip with students.   Whew! We’ll see how this goes.

HOLY! Week

Well, well, look at that…another month has passed and look who hasn’t blogged. I feel like a broken record when I say “things have been crazy around here,” but it’s the truth.

Holy week came and went. It seems to do that every year. What’s the deal with Holy Week anyway? I think it should be re-named “Satan attacks families in ministry” week. Seriously.

Holy Week is like Super Bowl week for pastors. It starts with the setting up of the “Stations of the Cross” on Monday, moves to rehearsal for the week’s events on Tuesday night, shopping for the all church Easter breakfast on Wednesday night, conducting the Maundy Thursday service on Thursday night, Good Friday service on Friday night, all church Easter egg hunt, soccer game, family Easter celebration on Saturday, making breakfast for the entire church on Sunday morning, Easter sunrise service, Sunday school, church service, company for lunch, and….collapsing. Oh, and I forgot to mention, anything that could possibly go wrong in life probably will. You know, like the offer on your house that has been up for sale for 6 months is denied, your son has a major, heartbreaking issue at daycare and oh yes…Jazbar’s death. How ironic is that? Jazbar died on Good Friday. It’s a good thing I have a sense of humor or I might have been a little creeped out by the symbolism of that. (Sidenote: If you don’t know who Jazbar is please read my Jazbar post.)

Needless to say, by about Wednesday I was one tired mama. By the looks of the face book posts of many of my friends in ministry, I was not the only one feeling that way! I was fading fast and was in the beginning stages of bitterness. I had shared with my sister that I didn’t think people in the church (any church) realize the sacrifices families in ministry make during Holy Week. You know what her response was? She told me something I will never forget. She told me that she thinks I am exactly right, that people don’t understand the sacrifices ministry families make, but she said she is SO glad they don’t. Huh??! What does that mean? She went on to tell me how she thinks it is a good thing that people don’t know the sacrifices made because it might cause them to feel guilty or take away from their Holy Week experience. I mean, if I knew the service I was enjoying was at the sacrifice of a family’s time together I don’t think I would be able to fully experience the joy of the service. Further, she reminded me that the reason we are in ministry is to provide a meaningful place for people to meet Jesus face to face. Isn’t that the truth???

Once again, I stand reminded of the reason we are on this crazy journey called ministry. The days when I am feeling like “no one understands” I quietly remind myself...”and that’s probably a good thing.” I never want my temporary feelings of being overwhelmed to affect someone’s eternal experience of meeting Jesus face to face in a service. I am sure I will need many more reminders throughout this journey. In fact, I might just set a task to read this post on the Wednesday of Holy Week every year.  

Vacation...ish

So..I wish there was a way my thoughts could just be transferred directly to my blog.  I mean, I don’t wish ALL my thoughts did, trust me, you don’t either. It’s just that so many times I think to myself, “I should totally blog about that” or “it has been so long since I have given my blog any love” and then, these tiny yet adorable creatures that live in my house need something. You know, like milk, or crayons, or to rewind Cars for the 30^th time.  And then, it’s a month later.  Whew! I’m guessing you can relate.

The month of March was a complete Blurrrrr for us. We were traveling 2 out of the 4 weekends and the other two were filled with important events here at home.  We did however, have the special honor of going to Billings, Montana for one of the weekends.  Have you ever been there? Ok so first of all it is in.the.middle.of.NOWHERE! And, it is a loooong ways from where we live.  Let me just say, I have never been so thankful for Nick Lachey  Christian something station on Pandora in my life.  My poor iphone needed a vacation after our vacation.  Anyway, we went to the loveliness that is Billings for a youth conference of sorts that my husband was speaking at.  It just so happens it was the same conference he used to attend as a teen, oh so many years ago.  He was completely stoked to be able to go back there and share his heart to his homeland.  And I…well, I was the trophy wife all weekend.  No, seriously. I was. Everyone knew my husband.  And I was…his wife! I was quite proud all weekend to be the "speakers wife." Eh hem.  We were even blessed to leave the boys at home in some very loving and capable hands.   Yep, you heard me right, a weekend away…just the husband/special speaker/prodigal teenager come home and I.  We had a blast! We stayed up late. We drove through Taco Bell, Del Taco, and Hardys all in one night after 11pm.  We watched movies. We ate out. We did..other stuff.  It was just really nice to get away for awhile and be able to focus on each other.  We decided we need to do that at least once a month once a year.

So, our vacation speaking engagement was coming to an end.  We were two hours from home.  I got on my trusty iphone to check the book.   The "keeps me connected to all my good friends as well as those I don’t even know" book. Facebook.  I noticed one of our teens had written something rather disturbing on her status.  Hmmmm. I read it to my husband and we both knew instantly we were not on vacation anymore. This was serious stuff. The kind of stuff that can change a persons life forever. Then, it began. The texts, calls, and fbook messages.  People were concerned.  And they were calling US.  My husband spent the next two days working ministering to this family who was so broken.   I realized in those moments, as I have a million times before, that ministry never stops. Never.  Not even when we are on vacation.  I guess it is sort of like being a blogger. Once you’re a blogger you can’t stop thinking "I should blog about that."

The Up side

It's Saturday morning. My husband is at a retreat with teens. I am getting ready to go to Cotsco. Bring on the huge strawberries baby! This week I spent some time reading through all my past posts. Wow can this pastors wife whine!  So, I decided it would be good for my soul  readers to hear some of the things I love about being in ministry. Yes, there are a few believe it or not. Behold....the things that make this pastors wife smile....

*My husband gets to spend most Fridays with his boys..we call it "Daddy Day"  Get it?! Mommy Monday and Daddy Friday? ... Pretty awesome!

*I have been fortunate enough to travel a ton because of ministry; including Taiwan (twice) and Mexico.  I have been forever changed because of those experiences.

* I have been able to share life with some amazing teenagers who are now adults.  These young people have taught me more than I could ever hope to teach them. They have taught me how to love and be loved, they have taught me how to laugh and be laughed at, they have taught me how to see Jesus and be Jesus to others. I am eternally grateful for the relationships this ministry has afforded me.

*The support of our family! I can honestly say this is what I am most thankful for in my life right now.  We are blessed to have both of our parents living within 20 miles of us, along with lots of sisters and brothers near-by too.  We are ministered to by them every day.  Our families have truly made it possible for our ministry to be effective.  Our parents and our siblings have ministered to us more than they will ever know by being so available and supportive of us!

            *On a related note, I am forever grateful for my sister Jill! She is a one of a kind, seriously! Her and I have worked together at two different jobs for a total of 8 years and counting... She makes me laugh harder than anyone in this world. She is the first person I text when something happens. She is real with me. She tells me in love when I am wrong. She gives me honest advice. She has an amazing heart for people. She loves my boys like they were her own.  I am so blessed to call her not only sister but best friend!

*There are so many connections in our church.  Need a mechanic? We know one.  Need a lawyer? we know one. Need a real estate agent? we know several.  Need a doctor? I have that best one in town!! I am so thankful for these connections!

*The flexibility in my husbands job.  He is able to leave work if one of our boys gets sick in the middle of the day.  He can take a day off here or there if the week ahead or behind us is particularly hectic.  He most often is able to put his family first.  What a blessing!

*There is something really special about seeing your husband doing what he loves and getting paid for it. Not many people can say their vocation is their passion as well.  My husband truly does love what he does.  Just like every job there are hard days for both of us. Sometimes it feels like more hard days than easy days. Seeing my husband doing what he was created to do is overwhelmingly rewarding.

*The experiences our children have been exposed to. Our 4 year old LOVES to serve people! He is constantly asking how he can help. He still talks about the summer we built a park for our neighborhood (he had just turned 3!).  He still asks if we can spend the afternoon picking up trash in the neighborhood.  He is curious about the idea of homelessness and often asks how we can help people who don't have a house.  His heart for service as a 4 year old is not a coincidence. I believe his love for service is because we have had the opportunity to expose him to numerous service projects through our ministry. Raising children with a servants heart is our hearts cry.  Being in ministry has provided that opportunity!

*Freedom to be me.  For some reason there is a weird and often misunderstood stigma about "pastors wives". People think they should wear skirts, they should play the piano, they should be at every event, they should lead Bible studies etc.  I am SO thankful to be ministering in a church that allows this pastors wife to be who she really is! I never wear skirts, I am not musical at all, I don't go to every event, and I have never lead a Bible study (except for for teens) in my life.  I do however, love people, love serving and am trying to be the wife and mom God created me to be.  So there! :)

So there you have it..the Up side of ministry! I should probably to this more often huh?  If not for your sake, for mine. I need to be reminded more often than most people that ministry isn't all bad. In fact it isn't even mostly bad.  Right??! What is it that you are thankful for in your ministry or life? We are truly blessed people.

Oh, hey...look at that..my husband just texted and said he went home and cleaned the house in the middle of the day...oh the flexibility!

The Preachers Wife

When I was in high school one of the greatest movies of all time was born. I know what you are thinking; it has to be the Titanic, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, Runaway Bride or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves…right? While those are all fabulous movies, in my humble opinion none of them hold a candle to my favorite movie of all time. Wait for it….… The Preachers Wife!! I have loved that movie since way before I became a…Preacher’s wife. Isn’t that ironic? (btw, also a great song that came out when I was in high school…gotta love Alinas Morissette) Recently, my sister and I looked high and low for The Preachers Wife. We had some friends who had never seen it (insert GASP here). As it turns out, the movie isn’t that popular. We called several places and ended up buying it for $5.99. What a shame. My favorite movie of all time has been reduced to a mere $5.99.

Unless you live in a cave (that apparently has internet since you are reading this) you have heard by now that Whitney Houston passed away. Whitney is the star of the movie the Preachers Wife. Her music is as phenomenal in the movie and she plays the role of the Preacher’s wife with class and grace. She truly had the voice of an angel and will be missed by so many.

I have heard more than one person express their distaste for my favorite movie. People have said things like, “it dances around infidelity” or “it isn’t realistic” or it’s “just a movie.” Before I became a preacher’s wife I think I would probably agree with those statements, all the while still loving it. Now that I am a veteran rookie preacher’s wife I think the movie is a little more realistic than we are all willing to admit.

In case you haven’t had the privilege of seeing the movie, our dear Whitney Houston finds herself frustrated with the amount of time and emotional energy her husband is giving to the people of his congregation. At the end of the day, he has nothing left to give to his family. He is left feeling exhausted; meanwhile his family is left feeling defeated. Unfortunately, it is a lot easier to find ourselves in that place than I care to admit. How does that happen? For my family it is a series of little choices that slowly creep in. Sure, it’s just one students basketball game, not a big deal. It’s just one evening class, not a big deal. It’s just one intramural team, not a big deal. It’s just one retreat, not a big deal. It’s just one more “yes”, not a big deal. But suddenly, those hundreds millions of small deals turn into a calendar that looks like a toddler scribbled on it. Life is a series of choices I suppose. Sometimes the millions of little choices add up to a busy crazy season. Our family happens to be in one of those seasons. The good news is, it’s just a season. I hope. I guess maybe I should take my own advice and re-read my post on seasons.

Tonight I have  retrieved my favorite movie from the DVD cabinet and plan to watch it real soon. It’s good to be reminded sometimes I am not the only Preachers Wife out there…even if it is “just” a movie.

Nervous Nancy

I guess we probably all have things we don’t like about ourselves. I mean, nobody thinks they are perfect right?...except maybe your senior pastor old friends from high school..eh hem.   There are lots and lots of things I don’t like about myself. I don’t think there is enough blog space on the internet for me to blog about my struggles with that. However, I will be candid and say one of the things that I dislike the most about myself is my tendency to be a bundle of nerves. Again, that has potential to be a whole blog in itself. It is actually a long and awfully boring story. So, in the interest of keeping my readers somewhate interested, we will skip that little slice of my life.

This past Sunday my husband preached. Preached? Is that the word? Praught? Preach - ed? Was the Preacher? Whatever. Truth be told, I was nervous. I always get nervous when he has to do anything up in front of the church.  I don’t know why..I mean, what’s the worst that can happen right?!  He had told me a little about what his sermon was going to be about and I was perplexed. I didn’t even theologically agree with his premise. Awesome. Now I was dealing with a double wammy. My husband is not only preaching, he is preaching something that is heresy.  I suddenly (cough cough) feel a cold coming (cough cough) on. I don’t think I can make it to church on Sunday. Right?!  As if I don’t have enough to worry about, now this.  So, as the week before he preached (is that really the right word? It sounds so odd) went on, we continued our dialog about his premise for the sermon. By Saturday I was feeling a little more comfortable with the sermon but more and more uneasy about him being in front of the church.

Saturday night, we are lying in bed. It’s like 11:00


I say: “I can’t sleep”
Husband: “Dang girl, you are more nervous that I am!” 
Me: ”YES I AM! Thanks for noticing!"
Husband: “you think I am going to say something stupid don’t you?” 


Oh boy…talk about a rabbit hole.  It’s not that I thought he was going to say something stupid, I was just nervous for him. As in, I would be nervous to be up in front of the church so he should be too. Right? Apparently, not.  He was as cool as a Mexican cucumber.  He obviously did not get the ball of nerves gene that I have.

To make a short story longer, he did AWESOME! He always has such amazing things to say!  As it turns out, the guy knows what he is talking about.  I did agree with his premise after all. Whew. I hate love it when I am wrong. Among the many talents he has; looks like preaching is one of them.  


 Now, if he would just continue to preach only sporadically that would really help my nerves issue.
 I’m just sayin....Cuz you know, it's all about not about me.

Ahhh...Christmas

Ahhhh....the holidays.

Some people love 'em. Some people hate 'em.   

This year Christmas was a little different because it was on a Sunday. I don't remember the last time Christmas was on a Sunday. I suppose it was 7 or 8 years ago but I have no memory of it. Probably because I didn't have kids, and let's be honest...Christmas REALLY comes to life when you have kids.  

There was lots of discussion in our "circle" about whether church's should have a service on Christmas.  On one hand, it IS Christmas, you can't cancel church on Christmas!! Right??!
On the other hand, it isn't fair for the church staff to have to work on Christmas either..what about their families, right??! 

Several churches in our small town got creative. One church opened their doors for an hour of "come and go" communion but not a service.  Another church did 2 Christmas eve services and no Christmas day services.  Other churches simply canceled church all together.  Our church did one service at 11:00. Sounds perfect right?.....

Here's the thing about ministry, whether it's Sunday or not, Christmas or not...it seems we are always on call.  I was excited about our little family of 4 being all together in church for Christmas. Ha! What a dream.  About half way through the service an usher comes to my husband and says he needs to go up to the balcony because there are some "unruly" teens up there. Seriously??! For reals??! Fa.La.La.La.La.   Turns out these teens were neighborhood kids whose parents weren't around. Hmmm...I really had to put my attitude in check that morning.  I was frustrated because I was navigating a 4 year old and a baby by myself in "big church". Looking back, somewhere deep down below the frustration, I knew in my heart those teens were right where they needed to be. At church. On Christmas.  Although they probably weren't listening to a word of the sermon, at least they were there.  I am not encouraging unruly teens in church. In fact, it drives me crazy! Yes, they probably would have been better off taking their conversation out in the atrium or passing notes to each other (aka old school texting). But, they were still at church. On Christmas.  I am guessing with these particular students there are a lot worse places they could have been causing trouble.  I don't know what Christmas morning looked like in their home just a few hours earlier, but at that moment they were safe. Safe inside our church. Causing problems..yes. But safe. 

I hope I never get so self absorbed that my memories about Christmas 2011 are more about me chasing my 4 year old and his Thomas train down the isle than the teens up in the balcony who chose to be at church on Christmas. 
I sincerely hope they heard something on that morning that touched their hearts. Even if it was my husband asking them to please be quiet.  

You might be in ministry if...

I promise if you are a pastors wife, pastors husband, pastors kid, pastors grandkid or pastor yourself you are well aware of it.
But...just in case you need a little affirmation that you are indeed in ministry I have compiled a list of ways you can be sure...

*You are on your way home from your family Christmas Eve party at 11pm (on Christmas Eve) and your husband says...I gotta run by the church on the way home real quick.

*Your husband get's called away from Christmas worship with his family in the middle of service by an  usher who says there are some "unruly" teenagers in the balcony that need to be talked too.

*Your 4 year old may or may not have been halfway down the church isle at Christmas service playing with a Thomas Train...See above regarding husbands absence in church.

*You have to stop by the church on the day after Christmas because you forgot the DELICIOUS homemade applesauce someone made you for Christmas there. Between the two children, car seat, coats, diaper bag, purse, sunday school papers, plate of Christmas goodies and your sanity you just didn't have enough hands to grab it on the way.

*Your husband is asked to help deconstruct the large Christmas decorations in the church the day after Christmas, you hear these words come out of your mouth "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go to the church at all today"...

*Many of your husbands sentences begin with the words..."I'm not sure if you read this in the bulletin or not but...."

*You plan your vacation days around your church's calendar every year.

*You nick name your favorite TV Show "Post-Modern Family."

*You find yourself ecstatic when you find a Geoff Moore and the Distance CD for .50 at Hastings!!...ok so that could be anyone born in the 80's I guess.

*You're at a holiday party and someone asks you the reference to a Bible verse, after all...you are a pastors wife!

Not that any of these things have happened to me...I'm just sayin'....

The long haul..

I'll admit it, I am not being the mother of the year at the moment.  It is Mommy Monday, the baby is asleep and I put on Toy Story 3 for my oldest son.  He has recently fallen in love with this movie and it is the only time I have ever seen him sit still for more than 3 minutes. So...I'm taking advantage of it. We had what I would call a bit of a "rough night." It's a long story, not worth sharing, normal husband wife kids stuff. At least I hope it's normal.

I was watching Barbara Walters 10 most influential people of 2011 the other night.  There were people like the Kardashians, Donald Trump, Katy Perry (who by the way was born and raised in a Christian home...wooh!), Simon Cowell and a few others.  They also did a segment on Derek Jeter. I am not a baseball fan but I learned that he is quite the guy when it comes to baseball.  His entire career he has been with the Yankees. 17 years! Even if you don't know anything about sports (like I don't) you probably know it is pretty much unheard of for a player to stay with one team for that long. I have since that story dubbed my husband as the "Derek Jeter" of our church. See, we have been at our current (and only) church for 13 years if you count the years we spent volunteering.  13 years! We have literally seen a class of babies born that are now in the youth group. How is that possible? It seems like not a month  week goes by that I don't hear about a youth pastor who has left one church and gone to another or left the ministry all together.  It seems to be the way the ministry works.  I don't think it is a bad thing. Sometimes it is just time to move on. God has called you to another place. God has plans to use you mightily somewhere else. Maybe there isn't enough money to pay you. Maybe there was a falling out somewhere in the church. Whatever the reason, pastors move churches in their ministry, and that's OK.

So, why are WE still here?  Why have we not been "traded?" There are days when things are hard, when I feel like my husband is getting hit from every side. There are days people say things that simply aren't true about him and his ministry.  There are days he works really hard for little credit.  There are days he comes home exhausted. There are days he sends me texts that indicate he is tired of running on the "Jazbar wheel" of ministry.  Oh, there are days.  Those are the days I ask myself "why are we still here?" Wouldn't it be a lot easier to start somewhere new where no one knows us? Where there aren't pre-conceived ideas about who we are? Where people don't know us...or think they know us.  Oh, there are days.  I have asked my husband before why he is so devoted to this church. It's not that I am not devoted to this place I just wonder sometimes why HE is.

His answer is pretty simple.  He always says...this is where God has me for now.  He made a commitment 7 and a half years ago when he became the youth pastor that he would pour his heart and soul into this place for as long as the Lord has us here. He doesn't dream about "what's next" or the places we will go in ministry.  He is simply, honestly and truly devoted to THIS place...and this place only.  I'll be honest, he has gotten calls from bigger churches that pay more money, but he has never once interviewed at one of those places. He is here. We are here. For what appears to be the long haul. I am thankful for a husband who is so unswervingly devoted to what he is called to.  There are days I cannot say the same, if I am being honest.

Last week things were a little rough for us. Ministry was hard. It seemed, Jazbar's wheel was spinning at a rapid rate. We were tired. There was lots going on. We had something every night of the week. And I was ready for a change. So, I went and got my hair highlighted. Blonde highlights do wonders for a pastor's wife in need of change. I bet hair stylists make a killing on pastor's wives like me who sometimes just need a change of scenery.  Now, every time I look in the mirror I see enough change for me to be motivated to keep keepin on.

I'm still not quite sure how Derek Jeter does it though, he is basically bald.

Community

Well, hello there!! It has been a while. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat down to grace you all with my writing presence and have ended up getting pulled away by something else.  I am sure no one else can relate. yeah right. There are lots of things swirling in my head tonight, possibly because I can hear both my itunes (heck ya 98 degrees!!) and my husbands t.v. show (heck ya Sing off!!). Are you seeing a theme here? If you didn't know it yet, my celebrity crush is Nick Lachey!! I know, I know the tribal band tattoo is totally 90's and the guy is a worse dancer than a Nazarene pastors kid; but, once you get past that, what's not to love? I mean really people.
Ok...back to my thoughts...

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of Community lately. A couple years ago there was a show on TV called Community. It was hilarious. It was about a group of adults who were trying to get their college degrees at a community college.  That was literally all they had in common. literally. The group consisted of an old white man, a middle aged hotty (I also heart Joel McHale), a young Arab who has autism, a middle aged african american woman, two young white girls, an african american young man, and the occasional asian comic relief.  The characters had absolutely nothing in common. Nothing! Well, there was one thing, they were all trying to get their degree and ended up in the same study group.  The show was hilarious because everyone was so different! All it took was one tiny aspect of their lives to bring them together. They didn't often hang out outside school, they weren't best friends. They didn't spend the weekends together. They just wanted to accomplish the same thing in life regardless of their differences.

Oh, how I long to be in a community like that!!!

It's so funny  just like the Lord to bring experiences into my life that confirm what He is already showing me. Recently, I experienced one of the most beautiful examples of community I have ever seen! One of our very close friends from college's sister had a baby last week that the doctors were not expecting to live.  This family has been through so much and yet has such an amazing faith.  I had been praying for my friends family fervently last week and all the sudden I began to notice on Facebook, not one, not two but DOZENS and DOZENS of people posting a link to their blog and asking for prayer and support for this precious baby.  Within a matter of hours, thousands of people had formed a community! Many of us don't even know each other.  We don't need to though, we all  have one thing in common, that is all it takes to form a community.  All of us are carrying this family with our prayers, we are a community whose unity is bound by our love for Jesus and for our friends!
Things are not looking great for little Anna Joy tonight.  I don't know what the future holds for this family. But, I know that there is a worldwide community that has formed out of our love for  Anna Joy! And...I know that God is still God. No.matter.what!

I have lost  invested countless hours in prayer for this family. Tonight will be more of the same I am sure. That's what being a community is all about after all.  Loosing sleep so that the members of our community who need it most can be held up by our prayers.  Will you join me in praying for this beautiful family?  Consider joining the community that I have only recently become a part of! Please invest some time in prayer for this family who is desperate for God's healing touch on their precious gift, Anna Joy!

www.babyannajoy.blogspot.com

Good Night!...or should I say...I'll meet you on our knees!

I love technology...but not as much as you you see...

So, when my husband first asked me (via text of course cuz he's a chicken and didn't want to ask me in person) if he could play on/organize a city indoor soccer team this winter I was secretly annoyed. I was like...really?! cuz you don't have enough on your plate sucka??! But tonight, I am thankful I said yes.  The house is quiet. The baby is asleep. My first born is running around a gym somewhere. My husband is pretending he is 16 again, I am fairly confident Uncle Rico is on the team they play tonight.

A lot has been happening in my mind and heart the last couple weeks but I just haven't had time or really been willing to blog about it all. Honestly, I have enjoyed so much the time I have had the last couple weeks with friends and family. The holiday weekend afforded us a couple days of purely family time. My husband even suggested we have a "no texting or facebook day" bahahaha! He changed his mind at precisely 7:34AM. We are what I would consider pretty connected people. We both have phones that alert us the moment someone has sent us an e-mail. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to make it NOT alert me when it is a viagra ad. We both know within 60 seconds if someone  has tagged us on Facebook or tweeted something about us or posted a picture of us on their blog.  We both enjoy being "in the know". I have a CNN app as well as a local news app. I just like to know what's going on around me, is that so wrong?! Probably not in and of itself; however, when it becomes more important than what's really important, it becomes a problem.  A big problem in fact.

My 4 year old slapped me square in the face yesterday (not literally...don't worry I am not that abused) on Mommy Monday.  He asked if I would color with him. I sat down at the table with him and began coloring. Not a minute had passed and "DING"my phone was notifying me of...a text, or a call or an email or a tweet or a tag or a poke or a....  My son looked at me square in the face and said "mommy, put your phone away we are coloring together!"  Whew......

See, to him if I were to answer that "ding", regardless of what it was;  I was saying to him that whatever it was was.more.important.than him! Yikes!! Oh how i need to be reminded. Even if it is from a 4 year old.  What really matters? What is worthy of my time on Mommy Monday? Can the emails wait? yep! Can I text that person back in a few moments? You betcha! Is my Facebook status really more important than coloring with my son? Heck no!  I pray that someday when my kids look back at their childhood, their parents high tech phones are not even in their memory. I pray the things they remember most are the times I spent coloring with them while my phone rang and rang and rang...

So, if you happen to call, text, tweet or Facebook me and I don't answer right away, be patient...I've got to finish this picture before I call you back.

Thank you??!

Whew…..I don’t even know how long it has been since I have been here.  My apologizes, I know you have all been eagerly awaiting my next insightful and clever post. Or...not.  You know the kind of week where the only transactions on your debit card are McDonalds, KFC, Taco Bell and Quick care? Ya…that has been my life the last two weeks.  Last week my husband was literally gone every evening of the week and then all weekend. We have also all been sick.  4 trips to quick care and one call to a doctor in one week…not bad?? The good news reality is that 3 out of 4 of us are on antibiotics now, so….just as surely as there will be snow in the valley tonight, we should all be on the mend. And, in case you were wondering we are packing up our little ones and my amazingly brave sister to head to the mountains for a weekend retreat with our teens! …and next week is Thanksgiving. And then The Living Christmas Tree…if I am still functioning by then. 

This all brings up a good point.  How do you balance all the “stuff” of life and still stay sane? That’s not a rhetorical question…I really need to know.  What usually happens to me is that we go, go, go…until we get sick, (please note this is the stage we are in right now) and then I usually completely lose my marbles and have a mental breakdown requiring lots of retail therapy and a night away with my husband so that I can be reminded yet again that I am the most important thing in his life.  Is there a way to manage it better BEFORE we get to that point? I guess the first step is awareness…and believe me sistas..I.am.aware! 

I figured out something that was pretty big for me last week.  I realized it isn’t so much that I hate it when my husband is gone, it’s more that I just want some recognition for the part I play in him being ABLE to be gone.  Ok, seriously, reading that makes me sound really selfish. I guess if we are being honest it is a really selfish thing, but…it’s how I feel.  It is raw. It is the truth. And it sucks.  Last Sunday I was dropping of the youngest of our boys in the nursery and the sweet nursery attendant said “oh..I have never even met him, he is so sweet!” She continued (to my son) “you look like such a happy baby, that’s so great because I know your daddy is busy and your mommy probably does most of the work.”  THANK YOU!  While obviously that isn’t true...I don’t do most of the work…all the time, it still was nice to hear that from someone else.  Maybe she was just spouting off words, but they were words that I needed to hear. Someone realized I have been working hard to make a way for my husband to be at all these “things”.  On Monday I finally broke down and told my husband “all I want is a simple thank you”.  I’m not asking for a new car (although I would take a Tribeca if anyone out there is feeling the spirit lead in that direction) I am not asking for a trip to Maui (although…ya know) I am not even asking for a bouquet of flowers. Just a simple “thank you” will do.

Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes it seems like it is all about our husbands jobs and there is little recognition for the people who logistically make it possible for him.  So, to you my Sister in Christ…THANK YOU! You are loved, even when you don’t feel like it!

Woops...there goes my alarm for my next dose of meds...cough cough cough.

Save the Drama for Obama

Don’t get your hopes up; this isn’t a post about politics. Although I do consider myself somewhat of a news junkie I don’t particularly enjoy the intricacies of politics. I don’t really have time in my life to argue with someone about something that we both feel strongly about.  My mom always told us…”It’s better to be kind than right”. I think that is my motto with politics. I am not going to be able to convince anyone that what I think is how they should think, so I will just be kind about it and not talk about it. So…instead of a political post, this is a post about drama.  For some reason I have a feeling I just lost all my male readers. Whatever.

As you probably know, I love Reality TV. I haven’t quite figured out WHY I love it so much. I should probably go on Dr. Phil and figure out what my deal is.  Knowing that I love Reality TV it might surprise you that I HATE real drama. I mean like drama in MY life. You know those people who it seems like there is just always some kind of drama in their life?! I am not one of those people! Ok…I guess I should put a disclaimer on that..I try really really hard NOT to be one of those people. I was at a junior high gym this week picking my nephew up from practice and got the awesome privilege of overhearing some major girl drama. This girl was in hysterics and crying because another girl kept “taking the ball away” from her in basketball practice.  Hmmm…Ok, I am no Kobe Bryant, but isn’t that the stinking POINT of basketball??! Her friends were all consoling her and telling her that she is a good player and that the girl probably didn’t do it on purpose..bla bla bla. I’m thinking….Girl, Just wait, till you have REAL drama. Ya know..like the boy you like asks another girl to the dance, or your best friend likes your brother or your friends friends cousins sister tells her mom that she thinks you are fat. Now THAT’s drama. I have been involved with students enough to know that’s just the way it is with hormonal young people.  But, oddly enough I still have such a hard time having sympathy for it.  I think it might be because I have gained a wee bit of perspective in the last 5 or so years.  I think I am finally starting to understand what really matters.  When we are young we have so little perspective that the little things seem so huge to us.  Sometimes the honest jerk in me just wants to say “just wait…wait till you have REAL drama”. Ya know..like your baby is in the hospital, ya know..like you watch one of your best friends sons go through chemo, ya know…like you don’t have money to pay the bills, ya know like…you watch kids on the streets willing to sell themselves for pennies to get food to feed their siblings, ya know like…you are 8 years old and you are the sole provider for 3 younger siblings because your parents died of hunger.  Ya know…REAL drama! 


I guess I have just been thinking lately about how life is all a matter of perspective.  Lately I have kind of lost that perspective.  It didn't take a huge revelation for me to get it back, it was actually a good friend of mine who helped me gain perspective.  He was telling me the story of a friend of his who had gone to the slums of Africa and some of the things he had seen there. Totally.Heartbreaking.  About 3 minutes later I was complaining about how about a month ago EVERYTHING. and I mean EVERYTHING on our DVR got deleted. Gone. bye-bye. never to be seen again. hasta la vista.  He looked at me and said   "talk about a 1st world complaint".  We all laughed about it, but truth be told...I quickly gained my perspective back. Man, I need this reminder so often. If you haven't notice I don't really catch on to "life lessons" quickly. I tend to have to be reminded again and again.


On that note, I am going to go watch the rest of the movie I recorded last night...if it's still on my DVR. 

3 Generation Mommy Monday

Well, it finally happened.  Our family caught the cold bug that has been plaguing our church, daycare and town. All four of us spent our last free weekend until the middle of December feeling like crud.  We mastered a lovely chorus of coughing, sniffling, sneezing and groaning with body aches.  It was actually quite pathetic.   Sunday night was the worst.  Our oldest son was coughing literally all night..which meant mommy didn’t sleep all night. Ok, that’s an exaggeration…I don’t remember seeing the 2 o’clock hour on the clock so I might have gotten a couple hours of sleep.  I do however, remember 1 o’clock, 3 o’clock, 4 o’clock, 5’oclock, and the 6 o’clock hour is when I made the decision…I needed MY mommy on mommy Monday!


So, I did what any self respecting 31 year old mother of two would do...I called for backup! I texted my mom and asked her to please come help me with the boys that day.  She was there within an hour, and she lives a half hour away! WHAT.A.BLESSING!! It's not that I couldn't have survived the day, I am sure with enough chocolate, diet pepsi and kleenexes I would have made it until my husband got home; the truth is..I didn't want to make it through the day.  I felt like I had been running a marathon and had about 7 more miles to go, or in my case 7 more hours to go.  Ok, ok..so I have never actually run a marathon, but I am guessing it feels exhausting at that point. Well, at any point past 100 meters actually :) I didn't feel like I could do it on my own.  The moment I saw my mom walk through that door I began to weep. Not just a little bit. I was crying crocodile tears. I read a quote this week that said "People cry not because they are weak, it's because they have been strong for too long" Monday was my too long. I couldn't be strong for one more day.  A sense of amazing relief came over me as my mom said "Go to bed honey."  I laid in my bed for probably 20 minutes just crying, thinking and being so grateful for a mom who didn't judge me in my weakness but rather came to help me unconditionally and with no questions asked! 


I want more than anything to be that kind of mom! I want to be the kind of mom where my boys know they can call me anytime. I want to be available to them when they need me most. I want them to never doubt that I love them more each day than I did the day before...no matter what. And I hope someday if my boys have kids when they reach their "I've been strong for too long" points, that I will be the first one they call. It's not always easy to ask for help. However, for me...it is necessary.  I can't do it all on my own. I have days when I just plain need help! 


So to my mom...Thank you! Thank you for being the kind of mom I hope to be someday. I tell my boys every night that I am so glad God chose me to be their mommy. And to my mom...I am so glad God chose YOU to be my mommy!  Thank you for a wonderful 3 generation Mommy Monday!! I love you!