" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I love technology...but not as much as you you see...

So, when my husband first asked me (via text of course cuz he's a chicken and didn't want to ask me in person) if he could play on/organize a city indoor soccer team this winter I was secretly annoyed. I was like...really?! cuz you don't have enough on your plate sucka??! But tonight, I am thankful I said yes.  The house is quiet. The baby is asleep. My first born is running around a gym somewhere. My husband is pretending he is 16 again, I am fairly confident Uncle Rico is on the team they play tonight.

A lot has been happening in my mind and heart the last couple weeks but I just haven't had time or really been willing to blog about it all. Honestly, I have enjoyed so much the time I have had the last couple weeks with friends and family. The holiday weekend afforded us a couple days of purely family time. My husband even suggested we have a "no texting or facebook day" bahahaha! He changed his mind at precisely 7:34AM. We are what I would consider pretty connected people. We both have phones that alert us the moment someone has sent us an e-mail. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to make it NOT alert me when it is a viagra ad. We both know within 60 seconds if someone  has tagged us on Facebook or tweeted something about us or posted a picture of us on their blog.  We both enjoy being "in the know". I have a CNN app as well as a local news app. I just like to know what's going on around me, is that so wrong?! Probably not in and of itself; however, when it becomes more important than what's really important, it becomes a problem.  A big problem in fact.

My 4 year old slapped me square in the face yesterday (not literally...don't worry I am not that abused) on Mommy Monday.  He asked if I would color with him. I sat down at the table with him and began coloring. Not a minute had passed and "DING"my phone was notifying me of...a text, or a call or an email or a tweet or a tag or a poke or a....  My son looked at me square in the face and said "mommy, put your phone away we are coloring together!"  Whew......

See, to him if I were to answer that "ding", regardless of what it was;  I was saying to him that whatever it was was.more.important.than him! Yikes!! Oh how i need to be reminded. Even if it is from a 4 year old.  What really matters? What is worthy of my time on Mommy Monday? Can the emails wait? yep! Can I text that person back in a few moments? You betcha! Is my Facebook status really more important than coloring with my son? Heck no!  I pray that someday when my kids look back at their childhood, their parents high tech phones are not even in their memory. I pray the things they remember most are the times I spent coloring with them while my phone rang and rang and rang...

So, if you happen to call, text, tweet or Facebook me and I don't answer right away, be patient...I've got to finish this picture before I call you back.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Thank you??!

Whew…..I don’t even know how long it has been since I have been here.  My apologizes, I know you have all been eagerly awaiting my next insightful and clever post. Or...not.  You know the kind of week where the only transactions on your debit card are McDonalds, KFC, Taco Bell and Quick care? Ya…that has been my life the last two weeks.  Last week my husband was literally gone every evening of the week and then all weekend. We have also all been sick.  4 trips to quick care and one call to a doctor in one week…not bad?? The good news reality is that 3 out of 4 of us are on antibiotics now, so….just as surely as there will be snow in the valley tonight, we should all be on the mend. And, in case you were wondering we are packing up our little ones and my amazingly brave sister to head to the mountains for a weekend retreat with our teens! …and next week is Thanksgiving. And then The Living Christmas Tree…if I am still functioning by then. 
This all brings up a good point.  How do you balance all the “stuff” of life and still stay sane? That’s not a rhetorical question…I really need to know.  What usually happens to me is that we go, go, go…until we get sick, (please note this is the stage we are in right now) and then I usually completely lose my marbles and have a mental breakdown requiring lots of retail therapy and a night away with my husband so that I can be reminded yet again that I am the most important thing in his life.  Is there a way to manage it better BEFORE we get to that point? I guess the first step is awareness…and believe me sistas..I.am.aware! 
I figured out something that was pretty big for me last week.  I realized it isn’t so much that I hate it when my husband is gone, it’s more that I just want some recognition for the part I play in him being ABLE to be gone.  Ok, seriously, reading that makes me sound really selfish. I guess if we are being honest it is a really selfish thing, but…it’s how I feel.  It is raw. It is the truth. And it sucks.  Last Sunday I was dropping of the youngest of our boys in the nursery and the sweet nursery attendant said “oh..I have never even met him, he is so sweet!” She continued (to my son) “you look like such a happy baby, that’s so great because I know your daddy is busy and your mommy probably does most of the work.”  THANK YOU!  While obviously that isn’t true...I don’t do most of the work…all the time, it still was nice to hear that from someone else.  Maybe she was just spouting off words, but they were words that I needed to hear. Someone realized I have been working hard to make a way for my husband to be at all these “things”.  On Monday I finally broke down and told my husband “all I want is a simple thank you”.  I’m not asking for a new car (although I would take a Tribeca if anyone out there is feeling the spirit lead in that direction) I am not asking for a trip to Maui (although…ya know) I am not even asking for a bouquet of flowers. Just a simple “thank you” will do.
Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes it seems like it is all about our husbands jobs and there is little recognition for the people who logistically make it possible for him.  So, to you my Sister in Christ…THANK YOU! You are loved, even when you don’t feel like it!
Woops...there goes my alarm for my next dose of meds...cough cough cough.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Save the Drama for Obama

Don’t get your hopes up; this isn’t a post about politics. Although I do consider myself somewhat of a news junkie I don’t particularly enjoy the intricacies of politics. I don’t really have time in my life to argue with someone about something that we both feel strongly about.  My mom always told us…”It’s better to be kind than right”. I think that is my motto with politics. I am not going to be able to convince anyone that what I think is how they should think, so I will just be kind about it and not talk about it. So…instead of a political post, this is a post about drama.  For some reason I have a feeling I just lost all my male readers. Whatever.
As you probably know, I love Reality TV. I haven’t quite figured out WHY I love it so much. I should probably go on Dr. Phil and figure out what my deal is.  Knowing that I love Reality TV it might surprise you that I HATE real drama. I mean like drama in MY life. You know those people who it seems like there is just always some kind of drama in their life?! I am not one of those people! Ok…I guess I should put a disclaimer on that..I try really really hard NOT to be one of those people. I was at a junior high gym this week picking my nephew up from practice and got the awesome privilege of overhearing some major girl drama. This girl was in hysterics and crying because another girl kept “taking the ball away” from her in basketball practice.  Hmmm…Ok, I am no Kobe Bryant, but isn’t that the stinking POINT of basketball??! Her friends were all consoling her and telling her that she is a good player and that the girl probably didn’t do it on purpose..bla bla bla. I’m thinking….Girl, Just wait, till you have REAL drama. Ya know..like the boy you like asks another girl to the dance, or your best friend likes your brother or your friends friends cousins sister tells her mom that she thinks you are fat. Now THAT’s drama. I have been involved with students enough to know that’s just the way it is with hormonal young people.  But, oddly enough I still have such a hard time having sympathy for it.  I think it might be because I have gained a wee bit of perspective in the last 5 or so years.  I think I am finally starting to understand what really matters.  When we are young we have so little perspective that the little things seem so huge to us.  Sometimes the honest jerk in me just wants to say “just wait…wait till you have REAL drama”. Ya know..like your baby is in the hospital, ya know..like you watch one of your best friends sons go through chemo, ya know…like you don’t have money to pay the bills, ya know like…you watch kids on the streets willing to sell themselves for pennies to get food to feed their siblings, ya know like…you are 8 years old and you are the sole provider for 3 younger siblings because your parents died of hunger.  Ya know…REAL drama! 

I guess I have just been thinking lately about how life is all a matter of perspective.  Lately I have kind of lost that perspective.  It didn't take a huge revelation for me to get it back, it was actually a good friend of mine who helped me gain perspective.  He was telling me the story of a friend of his who had gone to the slums of Africa and some of the things he had seen there. Totally.Heartbreaking.  About 3 minutes later I was complaining about how about a month ago EVERYTHING. and I mean EVERYTHING on our DVR got deleted. Gone. bye-bye. never to be seen again. hasta la vista.  He looked at me and said   "talk about a 1st world complaint".  We all laughed about it, but truth be told...I quickly gained my perspective back. Man, I need this reminder so often. If you haven't notice I don't really catch on to "life lessons" quickly. I tend to have to be reminded again and again.

On that note, I am going to go watch the rest of the movie I recorded last night...if it's still on my DVR.