" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Truth be told...

* Sometimes when I see people I know at Walmart I re-direct my path so that I don't pass them in the isle. Truth be told, sometimes I just want to shop and not have to put on a smile for you.

*Sometimes I purposely use the restroom at the far end of the church. Truth be told, I don't always enjoy the hand washing conversation that goes on in women’s restrooms.

*I check my Facebook during the sermon every Sunday. Truth be told, so do you!

*When I am chasing my kids in all different directions and look like I got hit by a bus because I am exhausted, it is not the best time to laugh and say "I promise you will miss this one day." Truth be told, I will not miss certain things about my children being little. I just won't. Sure, there are many things I will miss, but trying to convince them not to lick the floor of a public restroom is NOT one them.

*If you tell me you recently read “the best book ever” about ministry and that I really should read it because it will change my life. I probably won’t read it.  Truth be told, changing my life sounds like a lot of work. I don’t think I have the energy for that right now.

*When the worship leader says “please stand” in church. I don’t always stand. Truth be told, I don’t think I have to stand to Praise God and maybe I don’t feel like standing.  I’m sure, there is a special place reserved in the music pastor’s frustrated heart for people like me. I’m sorry. I owe you a mountain dew.

*Sometimes I get cash back from a grocery shopping trip. Truth be told, there are times I want some cash that I don't have to be held accountable for. I don't want evidence of the coffee I buy every morning on my bank statement. That's what married people call "ammunition" for when the bank account overdrafts.  Forget it. Not my fault. You have no proof that I spent $15 on coffee last week. Bingo-Bango!

*If you invite me to your jewelry/Tupperware/make-up/cute personalized bag/vinyl wall d├ęcor/pampered chef/scentsy/best chocolate ever made/try on jeans in my living room party I probably won’t come. I am sure that your product is awesome and is something I will never regret buying. Truth be told, I don’t have money for stuff like that.  If I happen to have some extra money this month, I will probably spend it on laser hair removal...Let’s be honest, that’s what a busy mom really wants.


Friday, March 1, 2013


Don't worry, I haven't started selling Mary Kay or Avon, so feel free to keep reading.  This is not a high pressure sales pitch. Or, a sales pitch at all.

My husband has been included in a fair amount of criticism lately.  He has always been one on our church staff to push the envelope a bit and to ask the tough questions.  As of the last couple months along with the critism he has also been given a piece of the "blame" pie as well. Oh.fun. 

The funny annoying thing is, most of the changes that have been getting push back  are purely cosmetic.  And by cosmetic, I mean actually cosmetic. As in changes in the way something in the church building looks.  It is not as if there has been a move toward changing the mission of the church or the name of the church or the fact that we worship a great and mighty God.  We are talking about visual changes in a church building.  A…..building.

I guess I must be a little to protective of him. I get nauseated and sweaty and irritated and want to slap someone (in Jesus’s name of course) when I see the weight he carries for some of these things.  My husband is just the opposite, he doesn't see it as a weight to bear; he sees it as an opportunity to love people through their differences.  Huh?! Oh man...he is totally a pastor. I am totally not. A couple of nights ago I asked him how he deals with the criticism that comes across his desk.  You know what he said?  Unbelievable.  He said to me, “I would rather take the criticism for change than to be part of a church that is not moving at all.”  Whew….the Joye translation, "I would rather be making waves with my movement than drowning in a still pond.”   So, I guess it is in my best interest to put my boxing gloves away and realize that criticism in ministry is nothing new. In Jesus’ ministry He was criticized for nearly everything he did, so much so that he was criticized to His death.  Talk about making waves.  If we truly are called to follow in Jesus’ footsteps I guess I should expect the criticism.  Maybe that means he is doing something right….maybe.

Keep your fingers crossed in the next couple of weeks...my husband bought new glasses.  They are going to change his "look."  I am concerned about the riots that might ensue regarding his cosmetic change, it could get ugly.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Life with boys

Oh...blue crayon...you seem so innocent and fun when I buy you in a variety pack of other colors for .98 cents. You keep my children entertained while I sneak off to use the restroom.
Not the case when a little piece of you is in my child's pocket and gets washed and then DRIED!...ya so..my dryer has a tint of blue in the barell and all our whites have a tinge of blue.

Oh...super glue...you are so useful and awesome when something breaks or needs to be stuck together for the rest of time and eternity.
Not the case when my son is trying to glue a quarter to a lego to make the best cannon ever, and he drops the quarter. Super glue down. On the hardwood.

Oh...little boy who has been potty trained...it is so awesome to not have to buy diapers anymore nor carry a diaper bag with us everywhere we go.
Not the case when you get up in the middle of the night to go potty and pee all over the seat and then I go potty and sit on the wet seat causing me to have to take a midnight shower.  Also, when you have an accident in my bed and I have the choice of sleeping next to a wet bed or getting up in the middle of the night and changing the sheets.

Oh Flour canister...I am a huge fan of you to keep my flour dry and fresh and wieble free. You make it easy to measure flour and look nice in my pantry.
Not so much when my 1 year old can reach the canister and apparently wishes he was just a little whiter. What.a.mess.

Oh kitchen...You are a place that provides food, a place for people to gather, a place to read the newspaper and drink coffee, a place to cut coupons, a place to blog. Oh how I enjoy your smell after baking cookies.
Not the case when I turn my back for a moment and feel the familiar sting of a freaking Nerf Gun dart. Dude, I am not armed...not.fair.

Oh legos...you have a been a childhood favorite for so many years. You provide hours and hours of fun and creativity to little boys (and girls) on a daily basis.  You have morphed into so many different types and shapes and have proven to be a favorite of children everywhere.
Not the case when I step on one of you in my bare feet.  Seriously, when I asked you to pick up your legos I meant ALL of your legos, not just the red ones.

Oh Chicken nuggets...thank you for the many last minute meals you have given kids all over the world.  you come in all white meat, all parts of the chicken grey meat, shaped like a dinosaur, shaped like mickey mouse, shaped like a star, shaped like a golden nugget. You are the one and only food sick children will eat when they haven't eaten in 3 days. Oh how we love you.
Not the case when I find a half eaten one of you in between the couch cushions.  Did you realize you don't age well? You turn to a rock solid piece of nastiness that could double as a paperweight.

To be continued....