" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Nervous Nancy

I guess we probably all have things we don’t like about ourselves. I mean, nobody thinks they are perfect right?...except maybe your senior pastor old friends from high school..eh hem.   There are lots and lots of things I don’t like about myself. I don’t think there is enough blog space on the internet for me to blog about my struggles with that. However, I will be candid and say one of the things that I dislike the most about myself is my tendency to be a bundle of nerves. Again, that has potential to be a whole blog in itself. It is actually a long and awfully boring story. So, in the interest of keeping my readers somewhate interested, we will skip that little slice of my life.
This past Sunday my husband preached. Preached? Is that the word? Praught? Preach - ed? Was the Preacher? Whatever. Truth be told, I was nervous. I always get nervous when he has to do anything up in front of the church.  I don’t know why..I mean, what’s the worst that can happen right?!  He had told me a little about what his sermon was going to be about and I was perplexed. I didn’t even theologically agree with his premise. Awesome. Now I was dealing with a double wammy. My husband is not only preaching, he is preaching something that is heresy.  I suddenly (cough cough) feel a cold coming (cough cough) on. I don’t think I can make it to church on Sunday. Right?!  As if I don’t have enough to worry about, now this.  So, as the week before he preached (is that really the right word? It sounds so odd) went on, we continued our dialog about his premise for the sermon. By Saturday I was feeling a little more comfortable with the sermon but more and more uneasy about him being in front of the church.
Saturday night, we are lying in bed. It’s like 11:00

I say: “I can’t sleep”
Husband: “Dang girl, you are more nervous that I am!” 
Me: ”YES I AM! Thanks for noticing!"
Husband: “you think I am going to say something stupid don’t you?” 

Oh boy…talk about a rabbit hole.  It’s not that I thought he was going to say something stupid, I was just nervous for him. As in, I would be nervous to be up in front of the church so he should be too. Right? Apparently, not.  He was as cool as a Mexican cucumber.  He obviously did not get the ball of nerves gene that I have.
To make a short story longer, he did AWESOME! He always has such amazing things to say!  As it turns out, the guy knows what he is talking about.  I did agree with his premise after all. Whew. I hate love it when I am wrong. Among the many talents he has; looks like preaching is one of them.  

 Now, if he would just continue to preach only sporadically that would really help my nerves issue.
 I’m just sayin....Cuz you know, it's all about not about me.

Friday, January 13, 2012


Ahhhh....the holidays.
Some people love 'em. Some people hate 'em.   
This year Christmas was a little different because it was on a Sunday. I don't remember the last time Christmas was on a Sunday. I suppose it was 7 or 8 years ago but I have no memory of it. Probably because I didn't have kids, and let's be honest...Christmas REALLY comes to life when you have kids.  

There was lots of discussion in our "circle" about whether church's should have a service on Christmas.  On one hand, it IS Christmas, you can't cancel church on Christmas!! Right??!
On the other hand, it isn't fair for the church staff to have to work on Christmas either..what about their families, right??! 
Several churches in our small town got creative. One church opened their doors for an hour of "come and go" communion but not a service.  Another church did 2 Christmas eve services and no Christmas day services.  Other churches simply canceled church all together.  Our church did one service at 11:00. Sounds perfect right?.....

Here's the thing about ministry, whether it's Sunday or not, Christmas or not...it seems we are always on call.  I was excited about our little family of 4 being all together in church for Christmas. Ha! What a dream.  About half way through the service an usher comes to my husband and says he needs to go up to the balcony because there are some "unruly" teens up there. Seriously??! For reals??! Fa.La.La.La.La.   Turns out these teens were neighborhood kids whose parents weren't around. Hmmm...I really had to put my attitude in check that morning.  I was frustrated because I was navigating a 4 year old and a baby by myself in "big church". Looking back, somewhere deep down below the frustration, I knew in my heart those teens were right where they needed to be. At church. On Christmas.  Although they probably weren't listening to a word of the sermon, at least they were there.  I am not encouraging unruly teens in church. In fact, it drives me crazy! Yes, they probably would have been better off taking their conversation out in the atrium or passing notes to each other (aka old school texting). But, they were still at church. On Christmas.  I am guessing with these particular students there are a lot worse places they could have been causing trouble.  I don't know what Christmas morning looked like in their home just a few hours earlier, but at that moment they were safe. Safe inside our church. Causing problems..yes. But safe. 

I hope I never get so self absorbed that my memories about Christmas 2011 are more about me chasing my 4 year old and his Thomas train down the isle than the teens up in the balcony who chose to be at church on Christmas. 
I sincerely hope they heard something on that morning that touched their hearts. Even if it was my husband asking them to please be quiet.  

Monday, January 2, 2012

You might be in ministry if...

I promise if you are a pastors wife, pastors husband, pastors kid, pastors grandkid or pastor yourself you are well aware of it.
But...just in case you need a little affirmation that you are indeed in ministry I have compiled a list of ways you can be sure...

*You are on your way home from your family Christmas Eve party at 11pm (on Christmas Eve) and your husband says...I gotta run by the church on the way home real quick.

*Your husband get's called away from Christmas worship with his family in the middle of service by an  usher who says there are some "unruly" teenagers in the balcony that need to be talked too.

*Your 4 year old may or may not have been halfway down the church isle at Christmas service playing with a Thomas Train...See above regarding husbands absence in church.

*You have to stop by the church on the day after Christmas because you forgot the DELICIOUS homemade applesauce someone made you for Christmas there. Between the two children, car seat, coats, diaper bag, purse, sunday school papers, plate of Christmas goodies and your sanity you just didn't have enough hands to grab it on the way.

*Your husband is asked to help deconstruct the large Christmas decorations in the church the day after Christmas, you hear these words come out of your mouth "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go to the church at all today"...

*Many of your husbands sentences begin with the words..."I'm not sure if you read this in the bulletin or not but...."

*You plan your vacation days around your church's calendar every year.

*You nick name your favorite TV Show "Post-Modern Family."

*You find yourself ecstatic when you find a Geoff Moore and the Distance CD for .50 at Hastings!!...ok so that could be anyone born in the 80's I guess.

*You're at a holiday party and someone asks you the reference to a Bible verse, after all...you are a pastors wife!

Not that any of these things have happened to me...I'm just sayin'....