" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Monday, December 19, 2011

The long haul..

I'll admit it, I am not being the mother of the year at the moment.  It is Mommy Monday, the baby is asleep and I put on Toy Story 3 for my oldest son.  He has recently fallen in love with this movie and it is the only time I have ever seen him sit still for more than 3 minutes. So...I'm taking advantage of it. We had what I would call a bit of a "rough night." It's a long story, not worth sharing, normal husband wife kids stuff. At least I hope it's normal.

I was watching Barbara Walters 10 most influential people of 2011 the other night.  There were people like the Kardashians, Donald Trump, Katy Perry (who by the way was born and raised in a Christian home...wooh!), Simon Cowell and a few others.  They also did a segment on Derek Jeter. I am not a baseball fan but I learned that he is quite the guy when it comes to baseball.  His entire career he has been with the Yankees. 17 years! Even if you don't know anything about sports (like I don't) you probably know it is pretty much unheard of for a player to stay with one team for that long. I have since that story dubbed my husband as the "Derek Jeter" of our church. See, we have been at our current (and only) church for 13 years if you count the years we spent volunteering.  13 years! We have literally seen a class of babies born that are now in the youth group. How is that possible? It seems like not a month  week goes by that I don't hear about a youth pastor who has left one church and gone to another or left the ministry all together.  It seems to be the way the ministry works.  I don't think it is a bad thing. Sometimes it is just time to move on. God has called you to another place. God has plans to use you mightily somewhere else. Maybe there isn't enough money to pay you. Maybe there was a falling out somewhere in the church. Whatever the reason, pastors move churches in their ministry, and that's OK.

So, why are WE still here?  Why have we not been "traded?" There are days when things are hard, when I feel like my husband is getting hit from every side. There are days people say things that simply aren't true about him and his ministry.  There are days he works really hard for little credit.  There are days he comes home exhausted. There are days he sends me texts that indicate he is tired of running on the "Jazbar wheel" of ministry.  Oh, there are days.  Those are the days I ask myself "why are we still here?" Wouldn't it be a lot easier to start somewhere new where no one knows us? Where there aren't pre-conceived ideas about who we are? Where people don't know us...or think they know us.  Oh, there are days.  I have asked my husband before why he is so devoted to this church. It's not that I am not devoted to this place I just wonder sometimes why HE is.

His answer is pretty simple.  He always says...this is where God has me for now.  He made a commitment 7 and a half years ago when he became the youth pastor that he would pour his heart and soul into this place for as long as the Lord has us here. He doesn't dream about "what's next" or the places we will go in ministry.  He is simply, honestly and truly devoted to THIS place...and this place only.  I'll be honest, he has gotten calls from bigger churches that pay more money, but he has never once interviewed at one of those places. He is here. We are here. For what appears to be the long haul. I am thankful for a husband who is so unswervingly devoted to what he is called to.  There are days I cannot say the same, if I am being honest.

Last week things were a little rough for us. Ministry was hard. It seemed, Jazbar's wheel was spinning at a rapid rate. We were tired. There was lots going on. We had something every night of the week. And I was ready for a change. So, I went and got my hair highlighted. Blonde highlights do wonders for a pastor's wife in need of change. I bet hair stylists make a killing on pastor's wives like me who sometimes just need a change of scenery.  Now, every time I look in the mirror I see enough change for me to be motivated to keep keepin on.

I'm still not quite sure how Derek Jeter does it though, he is basically bald.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Well, hello there!! It has been a while. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat down to grace you all with my writing presence and have ended up getting pulled away by something else.  I am sure no one else can relate. yeah right. There are lots of things swirling in my head tonight, possibly because I can hear both my itunes (heck ya 98 degrees!!) and my husbands t.v. show (heck ya Sing off!!). Are you seeing a theme here? If you didn't know it yet, my celebrity crush is Nick Lachey!! I know, I know the tribal band tattoo is totally 90's and the guy is a worse dancer than a Nazarene pastors kid; but, once you get past that, what's not to love? I mean really people.
Ok...back to my thoughts...

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of Community lately. A couple years ago there was a show on TV called Community. It was hilarious. It was about a group of adults who were trying to get their college degrees at a community college.  That was literally all they had in common. literally. The group consisted of an old white man, a middle aged hotty (I also heart Joel McHale), a young Arab who has autism, a middle aged african american woman, two young white girls, an african american young man, and the occasional asian comic relief.  The characters had absolutely nothing in common. Nothing! Well, there was one thing, they were all trying to get their degree and ended up in the same study group.  The show was hilarious because everyone was so different! All it took was one tiny aspect of their lives to bring them together. They didn't often hang out outside school, they weren't best friends. They didn't spend the weekends together. They just wanted to accomplish the same thing in life regardless of their differences.

Oh, how I long to be in a community like that!!!

It's so funny  just like the Lord to bring experiences into my life that confirm what He is already showing me. Recently, I experienced one of the most beautiful examples of community I have ever seen! One of our very close friends from college's sister had a baby last week that the doctors were not expecting to live.  This family has been through so much and yet has such an amazing faith.  I had been praying for my friends family fervently last week and all the sudden I began to notice on Facebook, not one, not two but DOZENS and DOZENS of people posting a link to their blog and asking for prayer and support for this precious baby.  Within a matter of hours, thousands of people had formed a community! Many of us don't even know each other.  We don't need to though, we all  have one thing in common, that is all it takes to form a community.  All of us are carrying this family with our prayers, we are a community whose unity is bound by our love for Jesus and for our friends!
Things are not looking great for little Anna Joy tonight.  I don't know what the future holds for this family. But, I know that there is a worldwide community that has formed out of our love for  Anna Joy! And...I know that God is still God. No.matter.what!

I have lost  invested countless hours in prayer for this family. Tonight will be more of the same I am sure. That's what being a community is all about after all.  Loosing sleep so that the members of our community who need it most can be held up by our prayers.  Will you join me in praying for this beautiful family?  Consider joining the community that I have only recently become a part of! Please invest some time in prayer for this family who is desperate for God's healing touch on their precious gift, Anna Joy!


Good Night!...or should I say...I'll meet you on our knees!