" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Monday, December 19, 2011

The long haul..

I'll admit it, I am not being the mother of the year at the moment.  It is Mommy Monday, the baby is asleep and I put on Toy Story 3 for my oldest son.  He has recently fallen in love with this movie and it is the only time I have ever seen him sit still for more than 3 minutes. So...I'm taking advantage of it. We had what I would call a bit of a "rough night." It's a long story, not worth sharing, normal husband wife kids stuff. At least I hope it's normal.

I was watching Barbara Walters 10 most influential people of 2011 the other night.  There were people like the Kardashians, Donald Trump, Katy Perry (who by the way was born and raised in a Christian home...wooh!), Simon Cowell and a few others.  They also did a segment on Derek Jeter. I am not a baseball fan but I learned that he is quite the guy when it comes to baseball.  His entire career he has been with the Yankees. 17 years! Even if you don't know anything about sports (like I don't) you probably know it is pretty much unheard of for a player to stay with one team for that long. I have since that story dubbed my husband as the "Derek Jeter" of our church. See, we have been at our current (and only) church for 13 years if you count the years we spent volunteering.  13 years! We have literally seen a class of babies born that are now in the youth group. How is that possible? It seems like not a month  week goes by that I don't hear about a youth pastor who has left one church and gone to another or left the ministry all together.  It seems to be the way the ministry works.  I don't think it is a bad thing. Sometimes it is just time to move on. God has called you to another place. God has plans to use you mightily somewhere else. Maybe there isn't enough money to pay you. Maybe there was a falling out somewhere in the church. Whatever the reason, pastors move churches in their ministry, and that's OK.

So, why are WE still here?  Why have we not been "traded?" There are days when things are hard, when I feel like my husband is getting hit from every side. There are days people say things that simply aren't true about him and his ministry.  There are days he works really hard for little credit.  There are days he comes home exhausted. There are days he sends me texts that indicate he is tired of running on the "Jazbar wheel" of ministry.  Oh, there are days.  Those are the days I ask myself "why are we still here?" Wouldn't it be a lot easier to start somewhere new where no one knows us? Where there aren't pre-conceived ideas about who we are? Where people don't know us...or think they know us.  Oh, there are days.  I have asked my husband before why he is so devoted to this church. It's not that I am not devoted to this place I just wonder sometimes why HE is.

His answer is pretty simple.  He always says...this is where God has me for now.  He made a commitment 7 and a half years ago when he became the youth pastor that he would pour his heart and soul into this place for as long as the Lord has us here. He doesn't dream about "what's next" or the places we will go in ministry.  He is simply, honestly and truly devoted to THIS place...and this place only.  I'll be honest, he has gotten calls from bigger churches that pay more money, but he has never once interviewed at one of those places. He is here. We are here. For what appears to be the long haul. I am thankful for a husband who is so unswervingly devoted to what he is called to.  There are days I cannot say the same, if I am being honest.

Last week things were a little rough for us. Ministry was hard. It seemed, Jazbar's wheel was spinning at a rapid rate. We were tired. There was lots going on. We had something every night of the week. And I was ready for a change. So, I went and got my hair highlighted. Blonde highlights do wonders for a pastor's wife in need of change. I bet hair stylists make a killing on pastor's wives like me who sometimes just need a change of scenery.  Now, every time I look in the mirror I see enough change for me to be motivated to keep keepin on.

I'm still not quite sure how Derek Jeter does it though, he is basically bald.

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