Vacation...ish

So..I wish there was a way my thoughts could just be transferred directly to my blog.  I mean, I don’t wish ALL my thoughts did, trust me, you don’t either. It’s just that so many times I think to myself, “I should totally blog about that” or “it has been so long since I have given my blog any love” and then, these tiny yet adorable creatures that live in my house need something. You know, like milk, or crayons, or to rewind Cars for the 30^th time.  And then, it’s a month later.  Whew! I’m guessing you can relate.

The month of March was a complete Blurrrrr for us. We were traveling 2 out of the 4 weekends and the other two were filled with important events here at home.  We did however, have the special honor of going to Billings, Montana for one of the weekends.  Have you ever been there? Ok so first of all it is in.the.middle.of.NOWHERE! And, it is a loooong ways from where we live.  Let me just say, I have never been so thankful for Nick Lachey  Christian something station on Pandora in my life.  My poor iphone needed a vacation after our vacation.  Anyway, we went to the loveliness that is Billings for a youth conference of sorts that my husband was speaking at.  It just so happens it was the same conference he used to attend as a teen, oh so many years ago.  He was completely stoked to be able to go back there and share his heart to his homeland.  And I…well, I was the trophy wife all weekend.  No, seriously. I was. Everyone knew my husband.  And I was…his wife! I was quite proud all weekend to be the "speakers wife." Eh hem.  We were even blessed to leave the boys at home in some very loving and capable hands.   Yep, you heard me right, a weekend away…just the husband/special speaker/prodigal teenager come home and I.  We had a blast! We stayed up late. We drove through Taco Bell, Del Taco, and Hardys all in one night after 11pm.  We watched movies. We ate out. We did..other stuff.  It was just really nice to get away for awhile and be able to focus on each other.  We decided we need to do that at least once a month once a year.

So, our vacation speaking engagement was coming to an end.  We were two hours from home.  I got on my trusty iphone to check the book.   The "keeps me connected to all my good friends as well as those I don’t even know" book. Facebook.  I noticed one of our teens had written something rather disturbing on her status.  Hmmmm. I read it to my husband and we both knew instantly we were not on vacation anymore. This was serious stuff. The kind of stuff that can change a persons life forever. Then, it began. The texts, calls, and fbook messages.  People were concerned.  And they were calling US.  My husband spent the next two days working ministering to this family who was so broken.   I realized in those moments, as I have a million times before, that ministry never stops. Never.  Not even when we are on vacation.  I guess it is sort of like being a blogger. Once you’re a blogger you can’t stop thinking "I should blog about that."

The Up side

It's Saturday morning. My husband is at a retreat with teens. I am getting ready to go to Cotsco. Bring on the huge strawberries baby! This week I spent some time reading through all my past posts. Wow can this pastors wife whine!  So, I decided it would be good for my soul  readers to hear some of the things I love about being in ministry. Yes, there are a few believe it or not. Behold....the things that make this pastors wife smile....

*My husband gets to spend most Fridays with his boys..we call it "Daddy Day"  Get it?! Mommy Monday and Daddy Friday? ... Pretty awesome!

*I have been fortunate enough to travel a ton because of ministry; including Taiwan (twice) and Mexico.  I have been forever changed because of those experiences.

* I have been able to share life with some amazing teenagers who are now adults.  These young people have taught me more than I could ever hope to teach them. They have taught me how to love and be loved, they have taught me how to laugh and be laughed at, they have taught me how to see Jesus and be Jesus to others. I am eternally grateful for the relationships this ministry has afforded me.

*The support of our family! I can honestly say this is what I am most thankful for in my life right now.  We are blessed to have both of our parents living within 20 miles of us, along with lots of sisters and brothers near-by too.  We are ministered to by them every day.  Our families have truly made it possible for our ministry to be effective.  Our parents and our siblings have ministered to us more than they will ever know by being so available and supportive of us!

            *On a related note, I am forever grateful for my sister Jill! She is a one of a kind, seriously! Her and I have worked together at two different jobs for a total of 8 years and counting... She makes me laugh harder than anyone in this world. She is the first person I text when something happens. She is real with me. She tells me in love when I am wrong. She gives me honest advice. She has an amazing heart for people. She loves my boys like they were her own.  I am so blessed to call her not only sister but best friend!

*There are so many connections in our church.  Need a mechanic? We know one.  Need a lawyer? we know one. Need a real estate agent? we know several.  Need a doctor? I have that best one in town!! I am so thankful for these connections!

*The flexibility in my husbands job.  He is able to leave work if one of our boys gets sick in the middle of the day.  He can take a day off here or there if the week ahead or behind us is particularly hectic.  He most often is able to put his family first.  What a blessing!

*There is something really special about seeing your husband doing what he loves and getting paid for it. Not many people can say their vocation is their passion as well.  My husband truly does love what he does.  Just like every job there are hard days for both of us. Sometimes it feels like more hard days than easy days. Seeing my husband doing what he was created to do is overwhelmingly rewarding.

*The experiences our children have been exposed to. Our 4 year old LOVES to serve people! He is constantly asking how he can help. He still talks about the summer we built a park for our neighborhood (he had just turned 3!).  He still asks if we can spend the afternoon picking up trash in the neighborhood.  He is curious about the idea of homelessness and often asks how we can help people who don't have a house.  His heart for service as a 4 year old is not a coincidence. I believe his love for service is because we have had the opportunity to expose him to numerous service projects through our ministry. Raising children with a servants heart is our hearts cry.  Being in ministry has provided that opportunity!

*Freedom to be me.  For some reason there is a weird and often misunderstood stigma about "pastors wives". People think they should wear skirts, they should play the piano, they should be at every event, they should lead Bible studies etc.  I am SO thankful to be ministering in a church that allows this pastors wife to be who she really is! I never wear skirts, I am not musical at all, I don't go to every event, and I have never lead a Bible study (except for for teens) in my life.  I do however, love people, love serving and am trying to be the wife and mom God created me to be.  So there! :)

So there you have it..the Up side of ministry! I should probably to this more often huh?  If not for your sake, for mine. I need to be reminded more often than most people that ministry isn't all bad. In fact it isn't even mostly bad.  Right??! What is it that you are thankful for in your ministry or life? We are truly blessed people.

Oh, hey...look at that..my husband just texted and said he went home and cleaned the house in the middle of the day...oh the flexibility!

The Preachers Wife

When I was in high school one of the greatest movies of all time was born. I know what you are thinking; it has to be the Titanic, Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, Runaway Bride or Robin Hood Prince of Thieves…right? While those are all fabulous movies, in my humble opinion none of them hold a candle to my favorite movie of all time. Wait for it….… The Preachers Wife!! I have loved that movie since way before I became a…Preacher’s wife. Isn’t that ironic? (btw, also a great song that came out when I was in high school…gotta love Alinas Morissette) Recently, my sister and I looked high and low for The Preachers Wife. We had some friends who had never seen it (insert GASP here). As it turns out, the movie isn’t that popular. We called several places and ended up buying it for $5.99. What a shame. My favorite movie of all time has been reduced to a mere $5.99.

Unless you live in a cave (that apparently has internet since you are reading this) you have heard by now that Whitney Houston passed away. Whitney is the star of the movie the Preachers Wife. Her music is as phenomenal in the movie and she plays the role of the Preacher’s wife with class and grace. She truly had the voice of an angel and will be missed by so many.

I have heard more than one person express their distaste for my favorite movie. People have said things like, “it dances around infidelity” or “it isn’t realistic” or it’s “just a movie.” Before I became a preacher’s wife I think I would probably agree with those statements, all the while still loving it. Now that I am a veteran rookie preacher’s wife I think the movie is a little more realistic than we are all willing to admit.

In case you haven’t had the privilege of seeing the movie, our dear Whitney Houston finds herself frustrated with the amount of time and emotional energy her husband is giving to the people of his congregation. At the end of the day, he has nothing left to give to his family. He is left feeling exhausted; meanwhile his family is left feeling defeated. Unfortunately, it is a lot easier to find ourselves in that place than I care to admit. How does that happen? For my family it is a series of little choices that slowly creep in. Sure, it’s just one students basketball game, not a big deal. It’s just one evening class, not a big deal. It’s just one intramural team, not a big deal. It’s just one retreat, not a big deal. It’s just one more “yes”, not a big deal. But suddenly, those hundreds millions of small deals turn into a calendar that looks like a toddler scribbled on it. Life is a series of choices I suppose. Sometimes the millions of little choices add up to a busy crazy season. Our family happens to be in one of those seasons. The good news is, it’s just a season. I hope. I guess maybe I should take my own advice and re-read my post on seasons.

Tonight I have  retrieved my favorite movie from the DVD cabinet and plan to watch it real soon. It’s good to be reminded sometimes I am not the only Preachers Wife out there…even if it is “just” a movie.

Nervous Nancy

I guess we probably all have things we don’t like about ourselves. I mean, nobody thinks they are perfect right?...except maybe your senior pastor old friends from high school..eh hem.   There are lots and lots of things I don’t like about myself. I don’t think there is enough blog space on the internet for me to blog about my struggles with that. However, I will be candid and say one of the things that I dislike the most about myself is my tendency to be a bundle of nerves. Again, that has potential to be a whole blog in itself. It is actually a long and awfully boring story. So, in the interest of keeping my readers somewhate interested, we will skip that little slice of my life.

This past Sunday my husband preached. Preached? Is that the word? Praught? Preach - ed? Was the Preacher? Whatever. Truth be told, I was nervous. I always get nervous when he has to do anything up in front of the church.  I don’t know why..I mean, what’s the worst that can happen right?!  He had told me a little about what his sermon was going to be about and I was perplexed. I didn’t even theologically agree with his premise. Awesome. Now I was dealing with a double wammy. My husband is not only preaching, he is preaching something that is heresy.  I suddenly (cough cough) feel a cold coming (cough cough) on. I don’t think I can make it to church on Sunday. Right?!  As if I don’t have enough to worry about, now this.  So, as the week before he preached (is that really the right word? It sounds so odd) went on, we continued our dialog about his premise for the sermon. By Saturday I was feeling a little more comfortable with the sermon but more and more uneasy about him being in front of the church.

Saturday night, we are lying in bed. It’s like 11:00


I say: “I can’t sleep”
Husband: “Dang girl, you are more nervous that I am!” 
Me: ”YES I AM! Thanks for noticing!"
Husband: “you think I am going to say something stupid don’t you?” 


Oh boy…talk about a rabbit hole.  It’s not that I thought he was going to say something stupid, I was just nervous for him. As in, I would be nervous to be up in front of the church so he should be too. Right? Apparently, not.  He was as cool as a Mexican cucumber.  He obviously did not get the ball of nerves gene that I have.

To make a short story longer, he did AWESOME! He always has such amazing things to say!  As it turns out, the guy knows what he is talking about.  I did agree with his premise after all. Whew. I hate love it when I am wrong. Among the many talents he has; looks like preaching is one of them.  


 Now, if he would just continue to preach only sporadically that would really help my nerves issue.
 I’m just sayin....Cuz you know, it's all about not about me.

Ahhh...Christmas

Ahhhh....the holidays.

Some people love 'em. Some people hate 'em.   

This year Christmas was a little different because it was on a Sunday. I don't remember the last time Christmas was on a Sunday. I suppose it was 7 or 8 years ago but I have no memory of it. Probably because I didn't have kids, and let's be honest...Christmas REALLY comes to life when you have kids.  

There was lots of discussion in our "circle" about whether church's should have a service on Christmas.  On one hand, it IS Christmas, you can't cancel church on Christmas!! Right??!
On the other hand, it isn't fair for the church staff to have to work on Christmas either..what about their families, right??! 

Several churches in our small town got creative. One church opened their doors for an hour of "come and go" communion but not a service.  Another church did 2 Christmas eve services and no Christmas day services.  Other churches simply canceled church all together.  Our church did one service at 11:00. Sounds perfect right?.....

Here's the thing about ministry, whether it's Sunday or not, Christmas or not...it seems we are always on call.  I was excited about our little family of 4 being all together in church for Christmas. Ha! What a dream.  About half way through the service an usher comes to my husband and says he needs to go up to the balcony because there are some "unruly" teens up there. Seriously??! For reals??! Fa.La.La.La.La.   Turns out these teens were neighborhood kids whose parents weren't around. Hmmm...I really had to put my attitude in check that morning.  I was frustrated because I was navigating a 4 year old and a baby by myself in "big church". Looking back, somewhere deep down below the frustration, I knew in my heart those teens were right where they needed to be. At church. On Christmas.  Although they probably weren't listening to a word of the sermon, at least they were there.  I am not encouraging unruly teens in church. In fact, it drives me crazy! Yes, they probably would have been better off taking their conversation out in the atrium or passing notes to each other (aka old school texting). But, they were still at church. On Christmas.  I am guessing with these particular students there are a lot worse places they could have been causing trouble.  I don't know what Christmas morning looked like in their home just a few hours earlier, but at that moment they were safe. Safe inside our church. Causing problems..yes. But safe. 

I hope I never get so self absorbed that my memories about Christmas 2011 are more about me chasing my 4 year old and his Thomas train down the isle than the teens up in the balcony who chose to be at church on Christmas. 
I sincerely hope they heard something on that morning that touched their hearts. Even if it was my husband asking them to please be quiet.  

You might be in ministry if...

I promise if you are a pastors wife, pastors husband, pastors kid, pastors grandkid or pastor yourself you are well aware of it.
But...just in case you need a little affirmation that you are indeed in ministry I have compiled a list of ways you can be sure...

*You are on your way home from your family Christmas Eve party at 11pm (on Christmas Eve) and your husband says...I gotta run by the church on the way home real quick.

*Your husband get's called away from Christmas worship with his family in the middle of service by an  usher who says there are some "unruly" teenagers in the balcony that need to be talked too.

*Your 4 year old may or may not have been halfway down the church isle at Christmas service playing with a Thomas Train...See above regarding husbands absence in church.

*You have to stop by the church on the day after Christmas because you forgot the DELICIOUS homemade applesauce someone made you for Christmas there. Between the two children, car seat, coats, diaper bag, purse, sunday school papers, plate of Christmas goodies and your sanity you just didn't have enough hands to grab it on the way.

*Your husband is asked to help deconstruct the large Christmas decorations in the church the day after Christmas, you hear these words come out of your mouth "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go to the church at all today"...

*Many of your husbands sentences begin with the words..."I'm not sure if you read this in the bulletin or not but...."

*You plan your vacation days around your church's calendar every year.

*You nick name your favorite TV Show "Post-Modern Family."

*You find yourself ecstatic when you find a Geoff Moore and the Distance CD for .50 at Hastings!!...ok so that could be anyone born in the 80's I guess.

*You're at a holiday party and someone asks you the reference to a Bible verse, after all...you are a pastors wife!

Not that any of these things have happened to me...I'm just sayin'....

The long haul..

I'll admit it, I am not being the mother of the year at the moment.  It is Mommy Monday, the baby is asleep and I put on Toy Story 3 for my oldest son.  He has recently fallen in love with this movie and it is the only time I have ever seen him sit still for more than 3 minutes. So...I'm taking advantage of it. We had what I would call a bit of a "rough night." It's a long story, not worth sharing, normal husband wife kids stuff. At least I hope it's normal.

I was watching Barbara Walters 10 most influential people of 2011 the other night.  There were people like the Kardashians, Donald Trump, Katy Perry (who by the way was born and raised in a Christian home...wooh!), Simon Cowell and a few others.  They also did a segment on Derek Jeter. I am not a baseball fan but I learned that he is quite the guy when it comes to baseball.  His entire career he has been with the Yankees. 17 years! Even if you don't know anything about sports (like I don't) you probably know it is pretty much unheard of for a player to stay with one team for that long. I have since that story dubbed my husband as the "Derek Jeter" of our church. See, we have been at our current (and only) church for 13 years if you count the years we spent volunteering.  13 years! We have literally seen a class of babies born that are now in the youth group. How is that possible? It seems like not a month  week goes by that I don't hear about a youth pastor who has left one church and gone to another or left the ministry all together.  It seems to be the way the ministry works.  I don't think it is a bad thing. Sometimes it is just time to move on. God has called you to another place. God has plans to use you mightily somewhere else. Maybe there isn't enough money to pay you. Maybe there was a falling out somewhere in the church. Whatever the reason, pastors move churches in their ministry, and that's OK.

So, why are WE still here?  Why have we not been "traded?" There are days when things are hard, when I feel like my husband is getting hit from every side. There are days people say things that simply aren't true about him and his ministry.  There are days he works really hard for little credit.  There are days he comes home exhausted. There are days he sends me texts that indicate he is tired of running on the "Jazbar wheel" of ministry.  Oh, there are days.  Those are the days I ask myself "why are we still here?" Wouldn't it be a lot easier to start somewhere new where no one knows us? Where there aren't pre-conceived ideas about who we are? Where people don't know us...or think they know us.  Oh, there are days.  I have asked my husband before why he is so devoted to this church. It's not that I am not devoted to this place I just wonder sometimes why HE is.

His answer is pretty simple.  He always says...this is where God has me for now.  He made a commitment 7 and a half years ago when he became the youth pastor that he would pour his heart and soul into this place for as long as the Lord has us here. He doesn't dream about "what's next" or the places we will go in ministry.  He is simply, honestly and truly devoted to THIS place...and this place only.  I'll be honest, he has gotten calls from bigger churches that pay more money, but he has never once interviewed at one of those places. He is here. We are here. For what appears to be the long haul. I am thankful for a husband who is so unswervingly devoted to what he is called to.  There are days I cannot say the same, if I am being honest.

Last week things were a little rough for us. Ministry was hard. It seemed, Jazbar's wheel was spinning at a rapid rate. We were tired. There was lots going on. We had something every night of the week. And I was ready for a change. So, I went and got my hair highlighted. Blonde highlights do wonders for a pastor's wife in need of change. I bet hair stylists make a killing on pastor's wives like me who sometimes just need a change of scenery.  Now, every time I look in the mirror I see enough change for me to be motivated to keep keepin on.

I'm still not quite sure how Derek Jeter does it though, he is basically bald.