" No one ever asked me how it felt to be me, but when I told the truth about that; I felt free!" -The Help

Monday, September 12, 2011

Just another Manic Monday

Growing up, and even after I got married I was sure I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  My mom was a stay at home mom and I remember several days after school there was fresh home baked bread or cookies ready for us. Man, what a life! Stay at home, bake all day, sleep in, watch Regis and Kelly every morning, eat whenever and whatever I wanted. Seriously, who wouldn't want to do that?! I don't remember any of my good intentions about wanting to say home having anything to do with the well being of our future children. Just the well being of my lazy habits. When we first got married I think we both kind of knew there was no way financially I would be able to stay home. We had (and still do) more student loans than we could count.  Maybe someday before Jesus comes we will have them paid off, but not today.  Part of me felt a little bitter about the fact that I knew I would not be able to be a stay at home mom. Now I know...I should probably get all the facts before I start harboring random bitterness.

See, Mondays is what we refer to as "Stay home Mommy Day" at our house. Mondays are my day home with the boys. both boys. by myself.  I know, I know, there are a million people out there who do this everyday and have 5, 6, 7 or even 19 kids (and counting...). To those of you out there...I commend you, I really really do.  I wish I had the strength and mental toughness and patience to do what you do day in and day out. I believe some people were created for staying home. And others...well, we were not.  For those of you who are stay at home moms, I sincerely want to be more like you.  But, I have to admit, I am a better mom because I work. For me, work is a place where I can just be Joye. I am not my husbands wife, I am not my kids mom, I am not the staff person in the sunday school class, I am Joye. Not only am I just Joye there, I am known for the things I am able to accomplish at my job.  It might be selfish, but I need that. I need a place where my identity isn't wrapped up in who my family is.  Sure, people at work know that I am pastors wife, and I am happy to talk about it there. But, it is not my primary role. And that, for me, is a needed break.

Once again I am so glad God knew what He was doing when I was dreaming about being a stay at home mom.  As for Mondays, there are good ones and bad ones. Ones that fly by and ones that feel like an entire month of Mondays in one day. Ones that I think to myself I could do this everyday and ones that I would pay to be at work that day.  But, regardless of how the Monday goes, I am thankful that my children will always remember Mondays as "Stay home mommy day." It is an important day for me be connect, love on and truly BE with my boys.  So today, even though  it was a little rough, I am happy I was able to be here with the boys. Tomorrow I will get a break...and go to work.  

And for the record, Regis only has 49 shows left before he retires anyway.


  1. You have expressed EXACTLY how I feel about being a working-outside-the-home-Mom. I'm a better Mom because I work... Not only does my job help provide for our family, it allows me to be who God created me to be. I admire those who enjoy staying home with their kids. (Like you, I realize they definitely don't get to sleep in and watch TV all day!) I love working, and I love that it allows me to be a better mom when I am home with Jackson. :o)

  2. Wow! Here I was, feeling guilty about being happy that I am not a stay-at-home mom. I mean, shouldn't our greatest value come from that? Not that we don't place any value in being a mom and a wife (pastor's wife at that) - it still is my greatest joy that someone calls me mom. But I am glad to hear that it is okay to get satisfaction from something outside the home. Like you said, it is a place where you can just be you, and know that you're really good at what you do :D And it's true ... sometimes getting to work feels like taking a break.